Profiles in Underemploymentness - Crazy Janey

First of all, if Crazy Janey brings nothing to your mind, you need to stop reading this and go buy some Bruce Springsteen albums.

For everyone that's left, I was trying to think of some kind of recurring post I could write on occasion, mostly for when I'm experiencing a little writer's block and need a crutch. What I came up with were these Profiles in Underemploymentness; where I'll write a post about one of my co-workers. Most of them are decent people, I even like a good number of them. There's really nobody that I can't stand or don't want to be around ...

And that last statement is only true because the coffee throwing dude I talked about in my last post got fired last week. I guess it's not really a surprise. Turns out he was suspended pending a review of the incident and a couple days later he got the boot. This is probably bad for my blog, but good for decreasing my chances of a sociopath co-worker showing up with a weapon.

So back to the point of this, Crazy Janey (obviously not her real name):

First things first, this lady is SHORT. And I mean tiny, maybe even wee. I have a couple of friends who flirt around the 5' mark, and that's not exactly tall. But Janey is 4'8, and she told us this so I'm not guessing. I just about average height, maybe a little below, and I TOWER over this woman. It's an odd feeling, and I'm not quite used to it.

When I first started this blog, I thought one of my first posts would be about Janey because she drove me nuts. I used to sit right near her. Not only is her voice loud (not something I can criticize anyone else for), she's got a pretty heavy Jersey accent and she says THE EXACT SAME THING EVERY TIME SHE ANSWERS THE PHONE. Plus, she emphasizes weird syllables, it's almost like I was sitting next to a misprogrammed robot with a bad accent. Here's her phone spiel, with capital letters showing what she emphasizes:

customer relaTION dePARTment, this is janey (I didn't leave the s off of relations by accident, she doesn't say it)

do you happen to have the acCOUNT numBER we may reFERence in order to beGIN the proPER assisTAnce (if I heard this on the phone, I'd probably hang up and call back to get someone else)

while i am bringing up the information, may I HAVE the SPELling please of YOUR FIRst name (they are supposed to get every one's name, but why ask the spelling of the first name? and does she say it when Joe calls too?)

I would hear this 20-30 times per day on average. One of the best unintended consequences of my move was that I can't really hear her anymore.

I don't want to be too negative though. She's a genuinely nice person, all the time. Almost too nice. When just about anyone walks by her cube, if she's not on the phone she'll say hi and that it's good to see them. Whether it's me the new guy or some very high up corporate guy from the main offices (I saw her do this), she has no fear. That's almost kind of admirable.

While her voice and borderline unbelievable ability to repeat the same thing every day all day has gotten on my nerves at times, she's also a carefree spirit that really likes her job and the people she works with and wants everyone to be happy and have a good time at work. My brain will never work that way, but she's not 100% wrong and I'm sure I'm not 100% right. Maybe there's something I can learn from this woman I"m calling Crazy Janey, it just won't be cadence of speaking, grammar or how to dunk.

Listening To: The Decemberists
About To: Kill some brain cells with MANswers and then sleep