UNITED! (clap clap clap) UNITED! (clap clap clap)

In advance of Saturday’s massively enormous match against Liverpool, I’ve decided to share some of my favorite Manchester United songs. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to sing them with a large crowd tomorrow morning because my self-imposed ban continues until United loses a match that matters (they haven’t since the last time I was there in November), but I will be singing them to myself while watching on the computer.

We are just one of those teams that you see now and then
We often score six but we seldom score ten.
We’ll beat them at home and we’ll beat them away.
We’ll kill any bastards that get in our way
We are the pride of Old Europe
The c*ck of the North
We hate the Scousers, the Cockneys of course (AND LEEDS)
We are United without any doubt
Cause we are the Manchester Boys
La La La La La (mini mosh pit happens here too)

AN-DER-SON-SON-SON
He’s better than Kleberson
An-der-son-son-son
He’s our midfield magician
To the left
To the right
To the samba beat tonight
He is class
With the brass
And he SH*TS on Fabregasss-AN-DER (and repeat)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (everyone holding up their pints)
Drink A Drink A Drink
To Eric the King the King the King
He’s the leader of our football team
He’s the greatest
Center forward
That the world
Has ever seen

My old man
Said be a City fan,
And I said
Bollocks you're a c*nt (you're a c*nt)
I'd rather shag a bucket with a big hole in it
Than be a City fan for just one minute
With hatchets
And hammers
Stanley-knives and spanners
We'll show those city bastards how to fight (how to fight)
Oh I'd rather shag a bucket with a big hole in it
Than be a city fan ... ALL TOGETHER NOW (and repeat)

Oh Keano’s f*ckin magic
He wears a magic hat
And when he saw United
He said I’ll fancy that
He didn’t sign for Arsenal
Or Blackburn cuz they're sh*te
He signed for Man United
Cuz they’re f*ckin dynamite
DYNAMITE

Follow, follow, follow
Cuz United are going to Moscow (yeah I know it doesn’t rhyme, sue me we make it rhyme)
There will be dozens of Reds
And we’ll be pissed of our heads
Because United are going to Moscow (… and repeat)

And my personal favorite ...

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
An Eric Cantona
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two Cantonas
And an Eric Cantona
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three Cantonas
Two Cantonas
And an Eric Cantona

And we finish the whole song. By the time it's over, most of us need oxygen. And that's part of the reason why soccer is one of my favorite sports to watch. COME ON YOU REDS!!!!