My paycheck doesn't say Initech, but I'm pretty sure i work there

I had a couple new experiences at work this past week. They're probably old hat for anyone who's worked at any sort of giant globocorp for a while, but that's not me. Law firms are an environment all their own, and my other company was a small privately run outfit. International corporations are another story, because often your boss's boss doesn't have an office on your floor, your building, or maybe even your country. That can lead to all sorts of fun decisions, like the one my group is now dealing with.

If I had written this when it first happened last Wednesday, I probably would have broken my no complaining rule, because I was extremely annoyed. After a day or so, that disappeared and now I just laugh it off. Because that's what you have to do: recognize the inherent silliness in what you're being told, and then deal with it. What are your other options.

For me, this issue was our phones. We all have a button on our phones that we can press which will keep calls from coming in. The idea is to use it when the phones are really busy so you can finish doing what you have to do on the computer before taking another call.

My department doesn't really need to use this silly button though, because our phones don't ring as much. On the other hand, the other side of the department basically needs this button to survive because they get calls non stop. Now, one would think that if somebody at our corporate headquarters saw the difference, they may just ask why, have the distinction explained to them, and everything would be good.

But NO, that would be too easy. They did ask the question, but instead of giving them the answer, word came down from the bosses in my building that people in my department are supposed to push the button even if we don't need to. Sure, I'm not that busy and could take the next call that came in, but instead, I'll push this little button and stare at my computer for a minute and then hit it again.

It's a trivial thing, but sometimes the trivial can drive you nuts. But I'm just going to laugh it off.

The other thing was even higher on the silly scale. We apparently have a new Employee Appreciation Committee on our floor. Apparently, some people at work need a little more of that good old appreciation stuff to get through the work week. Personally, the cash I get in my bank account every 2 weeks is appreciation enough, but whatever. First step in our new era of appreciation was the Taste of Summer party last Friday. I walked into the office that morning to see beach balls on top of people's cubicles, little plastic palm trees and other kind of summer related stuff. Then I found out one of the training rooms had various summer related treats, including the big hit of virgin daiquiris. Finally, and apparently most importantly, towards the end of the day we had a Funny Hat & Sunglasses contest, where the winner got a (can' you wait for it ......) $10 gift certificate to a italian ice place nearby.

Am I being the asshole for thinking this is all dumb? Maybe I'm just getting into this kind of work environment too late and aren't used to it. Whatever it is, I don't really know. I'm happy to talk with my co-workers and be friendly, I'm not some lurking sociopath that doesn't talk to people (that's the guy I had to work with on the values thing), I just don't want to make a giant hat out of construction paper and put a huge Spongebob sticker on it (the winning entry in the Crazy Hat contest).

So I'll just keep trudging along, pushing the buttons I have to push and masking my borderline hatred for all things Employee Appreciation (unless it's Taste o' the Irish kegs maybe). If I ever see a PC Load Letter though, I will take no responsibility for what happens next.