Why I'm Not An Accountant

The easy thing to do would just be to tell the story suggested by the title, and regale you all (or maybe just Cara) with the story of why I'm not an accountant. But that isn't any fun. Let's instead start with how I came to the idea of writing this down.

I came across this video of Louis C.K. talking about what spoiled idiots so many of us can be (thanks to Andrew Sullivan for posting the link). My first thought was to write something about how maybe we act this way because everything cool has been invented, and now all we need is for that cool stuff to happen faster. But that can't be true. There's definitely more cool stuff to come. I don't want to be like the guy in the 19th century who said the U.S. Patent Office wasn't necessary because everything that could be invented already had been, or the dude who said cars weren't necessary because horse drawn carriages were a fine mode of travel.

So after scrapping that, I started to think of caddying, and how maybe my 10 summers of carrying bags on my shoulders while rich guys hit balls with clubs is part of the reason why I can be more laid back, (although I get pissed like everyone else when websites don't load fast enough). I always appreciated the guy who knew he was getting to spend four hours outside on a beautiful piece of land playing a game with his friends, and no matter how bad he played, that was a pretty cool thing. Then I experienced the terrible combination of agony and joy that a round of golf can be, and my thoughts kind of changed, but that's another story.

So thinking of caddying reminded me of the events that led to me not being an accountant. And since this blog is at least tangentially about my employmentness, it's relevant. Time for the actual story:

We're going back to the spring of 1996. In a few short months I will be a high school graduate and am already signed on to attend some big school in the middle of Pennsylvania. I had gotten in planning to major in Accounting and International Business. Back then I was a little more aggressive educationally, I had been told by many people to start with a less popular major just to make sure I got in, then change it during my freshman year. This was not really my style (not then anyway), so I went with Accounting, and I got in.

This was my third year of caddying and there were a solid group of people I would almost always want to caddy for if given the chance. One was this guy whose name I can't remember right now who was an accountant. He was a decent guy, kinda nerdy (accountant, hello) and not so great a golfer. But he seemed pretty happy with his life, and whatever he was doing work wise, he was doing well enough to afford the country club lifestyle. That seemed like a pretty good deal for me at the time.

I had caddied for the guy a couple of times, but this time I was wearing a PSU hat and he started talking to me about college. When I told him I wanted to major in accounting, I was really surprised by the reaction: he pretty much stopped walking, turned to me and told me to change my major.

Really? This guy had the wife and the kids and the country club and the nice car because of accounting, I really didn't know how to react. But then he went further (I'm going to paraphrase):

Son, I know I've got a pretty good thing going here. I play golf with my friends just about every Saturday and Sunday. I've got a nice house, nice car, great kids and I love my wife. Maybe I shouldn't be complaining, but I wake up every single morning and I absolutely hate going to work. I can't stand my job, and I'd change it in a second if I could. But at this point, I really can't. If you want to stick with accounting, I'm sure you'll do well, but there are plenty of ways to make money in this world, make sure you're doing something you love.

When people ask me why I don't want to be a lawyer anymore, I say whatever I say but this moment is one of the first things I think of. It really changed my thinking about a lot of things. If this guy, who seemed to have everything he could want, could actually be so unhappy 5 mornings out of the week, isn't it worth it to do something I like not something that pays well but I hate? When I went up to PSU a couple of weeks later to schedule my 1st semester classes and do some placement testing, I also changed my major to finance. Still business, and still numbers, but the stock market definitely seemed cooler than losing my shit in the weeks before April 15th every year. I'm pretty sure accounting wouldn't have worked for me, so I'm glad about my choice. Thanks random guy who I used to caddy for. I'm sure you don't know it, but the hatred of your life that you expressed to a teenager almost 15 years ago really helped that kid out.